Yom Kippur — Then and Now // Variant Perception #35
Plus, some exciting news!
Hold up! Yom Kippur was last week… A little late for a reflection piece, Jared!
Except, I had something pop up. A little baby boy named Hawk Adrian Nations, my firstborn, came a few weeks ahead and made a welcome entrance into our lives! Mama and baby are happy and healthy. Mama is healing, and Dad is doing his best to help out as much as possible.
I’ve decided not to put any pressure to get a weekly issue out during this new phase of life. I should be back with a weekly cadence towards the end of the year, maybe sooner.
Now, onto this week’s issue!
I remember around the age of 10 (probably at a Yom Kippur service at temple), I decided that religion was stupid and the people who believed it were stupid. With much hubris, I shut the book and declared myself an atheist. “There could not possibly be anything in this book written thousands of years ago that applies to my current, modern life,” I said.
However, my thoughts and feelings on religion, spirituality, and Judaism have evolved twenty years later. I no longer approach my perspective with a hubris of exclusion. The significance and practicality of the Yom Kippur ritual directly contradicts the “awakening” I had when I was 10. A welcome change that, to me, shows I’ve grown. Today, I’ve developed a new, personal relationship with my spirituality. A blend of what works and makes sense for me by incorporating lessons, rituals, and practices from various traditions. However, Judaism holds a special place in my heart because of my heritage.
The origins of Yom Kippur go back to the biblical age, after the Israelites’ exodus from Egypt and the worshipping of the golden calf, a false idol.
To make up for the sins of worshipping the false idol, a ritual was set up for the high priest to make atonement for the community's sins. The high priest cleansed a sacred place with the blood of a sacrificed goat. Then, another goat, known as the 'Azazel'’ was released into the wilderness. This goat symbolically carried away the sins and transgressions of the community, bringing about spiritual renewal and purification.
Obviously, that’s not the ritual today. Blood sacrifices went out of style millennia ago. But, knowing the origins of a ritual and finding its practical life benefits has helped me appreciate the holiday and integrate it back into my life.
Last week, in observance of Yom Kippur, I journaled for around 30 minutes tensions or guilt in my life that felt unresolved. After writing all of that down, I sent a voice note to my Mom apologizing for some of the ways I’ve shown up in our relationship over the last year. Everyday bumps, scrapes, and bruises that all our relationships receive throughout ordinary life. Yom Kippur gave me the nudge to reflect on those bumps and take action.
In her response, my Mom said, “I didn’t realize how much of your words I was feeling until I heard them out loud.” Knowing that my apology released the tension she was carrying felt fantastic to hear. Her words also had a significant impact on me. I felt more trust and closeness with her even though we were 1,000 miles away. It was a beautiful exchange that cleared some of the gunk out of our relationship.
Yom Kippur makes sure that I spend time reflecting on anything in my life that feels unsettled at least once a year. I get an opportunity to notice and act on any residual tension that has not been cleared. A practical tool for relationship maintenance. Far different than the perspective I used to hold.
My journey with spirituality took me deep into the “against” group. I spent the years from the age of 10 to 25 being deeply skeptical of anything religious, often feeling that anyone religious (especially a monotheistic religion) was being tricked.
I was not alone in those feelings either. Religious affiliation in America has been dropping from generation to generation. Today, almost half of Millennials and Gen Z hold no religious affiliation, with the trend increasing over time.
Now, I’m not a deeply religious person. My goal is not to proselytize my faith or anyone else’s. My perspective on God, religion, and spirituality today is not a for or against position. I try to stay in the third perspective. There’s a fundamental reason why religion developed and became ubiquitous across the globe. There’s a universal problem that religion solves.
That does not make me a fervent believer, either. There’s truth and wisdom in religion and scripture. However, there are also a lot of unhelpful messages, irrelevant perspectives, and blatant exploitation. The third perspective seeks wisdom in both rejecting and accepting God/religion. Then, weaves them together into a new point of view.
I now view religion and spirituality (both for and against) as humanity’s attempt to create meaning in a meaningless world. When we zoom out far enough, every action we take, every memory we hold, and everything we cherish flies away like ash in a raging wildfire. We’re surrounded by trillions of miles of empty space. A dark, cold void of nothing. I’m reminded of one of my favorite quotes from the movie Gladiator. The character proximo declares. “We mortals are but shadows and dust. Shadows and dust, Maximus!” before sending Russell Crowe out into the Colosseum to, potentially, his death.
That nothingness that becomes obvious when we zoom out becomes insignificant when we zoom in to our day-to-day experience. Our feelings and experiences become deeply significant sources of meaning and identity. Regardless of which path you choose, God or no God, religion or no religion, everyone still grapples with the existential paradox of meaning. That means our base human operating searches to create meaning through our belief structures.
God and religion create meaning. But so does money, status, technology, politics, and science. What belief structure you elevate to your own personal God carries immense weight.
And, more importantly, whatever you choose to elevate as your personal belief structure, be intentional. Be the one who chooses it for yourself. Because if not, someone else will do it for you — and it will be done for some gain other than your own. Modern society especially sucks at this, exemplified by the crisis of meaning and mental health many young people face today.
We all worship something. You’re no exception, and neither am I. However, what you worship is your choice. Make it for yourself.
-Jared