20 Nuggets of Wisdom I’ve Gathered Over 32 Years // Variant Perception #44

As I begin my 32nd lap around the sun, I thought I’d write down 20 observations and nuggets of wisdom I’ve picked up along the way.

I’ll be the first person to tell you that I’m no guru. I’m pretty sensitive to thinking I know the correct path in life and then boldly proclaiming that to the world. So, take these nuggets as an observation of my own limited experiences of my time on this planet.

Here they are:

1) Tell the truth. The most pain I’ve ever personally been through resulted from consistently not speaking what I felt and knew to be true. The faster you align your life to what you feel is true, the faster you will attract the people who support your most authentic expression.

2) There’s no escaping difficulty. Life, God, the Universe, spirit, luck, fate, whatever you want to call it, rewards overcoming difficulty and presents it to us all. There’s no escaping it, so you’re better off choosing it. Find the hard that you enjoy, and don’t try to wriggle your way out of it.

3) You are what you eat. Literally. Everything you put into your body becomes your tissue, organs, skin, mind, and, at a metaphysical level, your soul. Food is the ultimate tool for healing.

4) Stress is the silent killer. If there’s one “health tip” I can give, find your unique way of managing and reducing stress. Just like difficulty, there’s no escaping stress. So, the only answer is to create systems and strategies for processing it. For me, it’s sauna, yoga, exercise, being outside, and laughter.

5) Wisdom is everywhere. Every person everywhere, no matter how you feel about them, carries a unique perspective that teaches you about how the world works. Don’t let your emotions cloud the wisdom that everyone carries, even if that person is insufferable.

6) Vulnerability = Strength. It’s easy to get this flipped around. I went through most of my life believing that if I revealed my flaws and weaknesses, I was weak. When, in fact, the opposite is true. It takes courage and bravery to reveal our flaws and stand in them. Showing these parts of ourselves is a gift to those closest to us.

7) Find your friends and get committed. Close friendships require work and maintenance to keep. It’s no different than marriage, partnership, or family. You’re better off finding friends who share 80% of your values and then committing to that relationship than skipping out to try and find someone who fits a little bit better.

8) Tune the skill of recognizing when something is for life. There have been moments in my life where I’ve felt this recognition that something or someone would be present in my life forever. It’s a skill to identify when these moments occur that requires presence and faith. Tune this skill.

9) Money is a tool. It is not an end state. It is not an objective in and of itself. Money earned for money’s sake is a siren. It’s a trade where you lose time to gain something that has only limited value at the end of your life. Your intention for how to use the money is what counts.

10) Your work is never over. Recognizing this truth relieves enormous pressure from life. Another task, another job, more, more, more is always present. It’s not going anywhere, so why rush to get it all done?

11) You’re always better off asking for more clarity than making assumptions. This is true for a high-stakes negotiation or a heated argument. A simple “Why do you feel this way?” or “How did you come to your conclusion?” can take you much further than telling someone else why they’re wrong.

12) Don’t mix in your emotions when trying to make a logical decision. Emotions are a great tool for some decision-making and terrible for others. If you have strong emotions about something or someone, know that you’re likely unable to create a rational conclusion about them. And that’s ok. Just know when it’s happening.

13) Joy is the ultimate goal. Anything else is a side quest.

14) There’s never a time when everything gets figured out. Life is a constant ebb and flow of feeling secure and insecure. Those feelings do not end one day. Stop wasting life chewing decisions over and over in your mind that you’ve made or that need to be made. The only way to become decisive is to make a decision.

15) Struggle is a fundamental component of happiness. Learn to love and embrace type 2 fun. It’s the fun that you hate in the moment, but when it’s done, you’re so happy you did it. For me, that’s excruciating team workouts and backcountry trekking.

16) Your preferences do not indicate what will bring you satisfaction. Don’t rely on them to guide you to creating a meaningful life.

17) Who you choose to marry is by far the most important decision you can make in your life. Be bold in asking for what you want. Don’t delay. Don’t wait. And certainly, don’t let your monkey mind hijack the process.

18) You are your own best guru. Your emotions exist as the greatest compass you have for personal growth. Why you feel jealous, angry, sad, excited, joyful, creative, and everything in between gives you all the information you need to live a more fulfilling life.

19) Don’t waste time. Go for what you want, and don’t delay. Value and cherish every moment you get on this planet, even if it means doing absolutely nothing.

20) Feeling good is a choice. It’s more like building muscle than it is studying math. Much of life is also like this. Recognize when more knowledge detracts from progress.

I wasn’t sure how long this list would be when I started it. I still feel like I can add to it, but, like in observation 14, there’s never a point where this list will be 100% figured out. It’s an always shifting, changing, and evolving dynamic that I get to dance with for the rest of my life.

Practically enlightened,

-Jared